


No, I'm Not

by fairlylocaldreamer



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, I lOVE MY PARENTS, Jebby - Freeform, super sweet n fluffy, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-03 21:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairlylocaldreamer/pseuds/fairlylocaldreamer
Summary: 5 times josh said he wasn't and the one time he admitted he was.





	No, I'm Not

**1.**

"dude, you're... crying."

"no, I'm not," josh argues even as he brings his sleeve up to wipe the mist from his eyes.

debby laughs, turning her head to bury her nose in the crook of josh's neck as his arm tightens around her waist. "liar."

they are on josh's couch, in his apartment in LA, watching The Lion King on a slow Friday evening and Mufasa has just died.

"I'm not lying," josh says, turning his attention back to the screen. bad move, because Simba is trying to wake his dead father and josh's eyes water.

"there you go again," debby teases.

"oh, shut up, you," josh mumbles. if debby says something like "make me" and one thing leads to another, well. that is only for josh and debby to know.

 

**2.**

"how was the show?" debby asks. quietly, because it's nearly 3 am where josh is and she doesn't want to wake tyler or jenna.

"fun," josh answers, just as quietly. his best friend and his wife are more likely to hear him through the thin walls of their tour bus than they are to hear debby. "missed my personal cheerleader, though."

she laughs and josh's heart does this gymnastics routine he's come to associate with the sound. he wants nothing more than to reach through the screen and trace the freckles on the bridge of her nose, but he can't, so he resorts to taking a screenshot and grins when she buries her face in her pillow.

the distance between them sucks. tour is awesome, of course. josh gets to travel the world with his best friend and play music nearly every night, but every time he sees jenna and tyler stealing kisses he's reminded of the girl he had to leave back home. debby's job is demanding, and the possibility of her coming on tour with him hadn't been an option due to her new show.

so josh misses her, and he's in the process of telling her this when he yawns.

"you're tired."

"no, I'm not," josh fibs.

"you just yawned"

"I wasn't yawning. I was silently screaming."

there's the beautiful sound of her laughter again and josh is so in love with this girl it freaking  _hurts_.

"go to bed, J. you're got a show tomorrow too, haven't you?"

"yeah, but I'd rather stay up talking to you."

she sighs, smiling softly at him. "me too, but that's not an option right now. go to bed."

and josh really is tired, so he finally relents with a couple grumbles about how he wasn't aware that getting a girlfriend would be so much like having a second mother, and gets under his covers. he's already half-asleep when he mumbles, "I love you."

she chuckles. "I love you too, josh. goodnight."

he falls asleep with her smile in his dreams.

 

**3.**

it's just light enough that josh can count the freckles on the bridge of debby's nose. they're smushed together on a bunk that's meant for two people, but josh has broad shoulders and so there's less space but neither of them really minds.

josh isn't used to waking up first. he's a heavy sleeper, and trying to wake him is like trying to wake the dead. but on the days when his eyes open before debby's, he takes the opportunity to study the girl sleeping beside him. for an actress whose career is based on people staring at her, she's awfully shy about josh wanting to look at her for extended periods of time. josh, of course, doesn't understand why, since she's the most beautiful thing he's ever laid his eyes on, but when she blushes and turns away, on most days he lets her go.

not today, though. he starts counting her freckles, then gets distracted looking at her eyelashes, then the slope of her nose and shape of her lips capture his attention. he's thinking about lifting her hand so he can study that, too, when he happens to look up and is met with amber eyes looking at his own.

"you're staring, josh"

when he met her, he might have blushed. now, he just grins, pulls her closer. "no, I'm not." there's really no use in denying it, but he gives forth a half-hearted effort.

she rolls her eyes. "you're ridiculous."

"you love it."

she doesn't respond, just reaches up to kiss him in a way that has josh absolutely  _melting_ back into the sheets.

they're interrupted by tyler clearing his throat at the doorway. debby jerks away from josh, nearly falling off the bunk, still not used to being on tour with so many other people interrupted their privacy.

"hate to bother you lovebirds, but jenna made muffins last night in our bus and she's made breakfast, if you guys aren't satisfied with eating each other's faces." tyler's grin is crooked as he turns and leaves, sending josh a knowing glance.

debby groans, pink dusting her cheeks as she buries her head in josh's shoulder. "that's kind of embarrassing."

josh laughs as he rolls over her to get out of the bunk. "trust me, debs, I've walking in on them in much more promising positions. this was nothing." he pulls his girlfriend up with a grin. she smiles back and he's  _so in love_. he doesn't tell her that, though. she already knows. instead he leads her out of their bus and into the one tyler and jenna share, where josh stares some more at the girl he's blessed to call his.

 

**4.**

josh's knee bounces up and down, his fingers drumming restlessly on his thighs.

_Madison Square Garden_

it's not the first time he'd be playing there (he's proud to say that it's his second) but that doesn't take the edge of the nerves buzzing around his body. there's something about playing in New York that doesn't sit right with him. even though he's traveled around the world already, for the small down boy deep inside him, playing in one of the most populated cities is nerve wrecking.

he'd gone through the motions of sound check and getting ready. he's dressed in his Bandito outfit. the opening band will go on in half an hour. tyler's probably off somewhere yelling at the crew, and josh is alone.

until debby walks into his dressing room, that is.

"hey there, rocker boyfriend," she says teasingly. when his smile fails to reach his eyes, she frowns. "what's wrong?"

"huh? oh, nothing. just-um, no. nothing's wrong."

she walks over to where he sits on the couch. josh's legs open on reflex so she can step in between them, and his arms wrap around her waist to pull her closer. her small hands frame his face, thumbs tracing his cheekbones, and josh leans into her touch.

"you're nervous, aren't you?"

"no, I'm not," josh says. but it's a lie, and he knows it's a lie, and he knows debby knows it's a lie, so he just sighs and debby waits. "it's just- we've played everywhere, you know? even here! so there's really no reason for me to be so nervous and- ugh, this is stupid. never mind."

"josh," debby chides. "it's not stupid. and it doesn't matter how many shows you've played in how many cities. the number of places you've been doesn't determine how you should feel about a show. and we've talked about this before, remember?" josh nods. "if there's ever a show where you're  _not_ nervous, what will be your purpose? how are you supposed to enjoy yourself if you feel there's no reward afterwards? so be nervous. and play your drums harder."

josh ponders this for a moment, then smiles, stands up. "you're pretty awesome at this stuff, dude."

debby laughs, getting on her tippy toes so she can press her lips against his jawline. he hums happily. "I know. but it wouldn't hurt to hear it twice."

he whispers it against her lips one last time before he has to take the stage. when he walks forward, a torch in hand, he imagines her out in the pit, her face illuminated by the fire.

he hits his drums harder.

 

**5.**

josh is wide awake.

which is quite annoying, since it's nearly two in the morning. he's been in bed for nearly four hours, because jenna said he needed sleep after his long flight from LA. he completely agrees, but the only problem is that he's just not  _sleepy_. he huffs loudly in disapproval of himself. there's a rustle of bedsheets next to him and he could slap himself because he's not the only one in bed, and if his inability to sleep woke his fiancée up he is going to be very mad. he holds his breath, hoping she's still asleep, hoping, hoping...

"I hate jet lag so much." there's no sleepiness in debby's voice. josh looks over at her. her eyes are wide open and there aren't any remnants of sleep on her face, so he sighs loudly and grins.

"same here." they lie still for a couple more minutes before josh can't take it anymore. "wanna go for a walk?"

she nods so they get up, creeping around quietly so they don't wake tyler and jenna, asleep in their bedroom next to them. they make their way down the stairs, and josh makes sure to grab tyler's keys before closing the front door softly.

tyler and jenna's house is in a part of Ohio that josh doesn't know that well. he's not around as much to visit, either, since he lives in LA with debby, so he looks at his fiancée and shrugs before choosing a random street to head down.

they walk in silence, their linked hands swinging between them. it's a clear, cold night, and the stars above them twinkle on the dark sky.

debby breaks the silence. "I underestimated how cold winter in Ohio is."

josh glances over and nearly trips. she's only wearing one of his hoodies, a hat, and no mittens. "debs! you should've told me earlier you were cold, you're gonna freeze to death!" he takes off his big winter jacket and puts it on her, despite her protests. "there."

"now you're cold."

"no I'm not," he says, even though his teeth are already beginning to chatter. debby rolls her eyes, stopping to shrug off the jacket. josh starts protest until she says, "here. you put your arm in this sleeve-" she offers him the right side of the jacket- "and I'll stay in this one." so they shuffle awkwardly until they're sharing the coat, josh's left arm wrapping around debby's waist.

they walk until they start getting sleepy, then turn around and head back to their friends' home. josh lets them in with tyler's keys, and they creep back into the guest bedroom. josh crawls into bed and debby follows, settling by his side with a groan. josh jumps when he feels her cold nose poking at his neck, her cold hands ghosting under his shirt and over his stomach.

"dude, you're freezing!" he complains, shuffling over to avoid her. she follows him, laughter in her eyes.

"which is why I need you to warm me up. c'mere."

they eventually settle down, and debby's hands get warmer as her breathing slows into a steady rhythm. josh's eyes drift shut and he sleeps with a smile on his face.

 

**1.**

josh is going to throw up, he's sure of it. he's going to chuck his breakfast all over his white shirt and shiny black dress shoes and smell like throw up on the most important day of his life.

"dude, with all this sweating you're doing, you're going to pass out from dehydration before debs even gets halfway down the aisle." tyler tosses him a bottle of water and some deodorant with a grin.

"shut up, tyler!" josh groans as he unscrews the water cap, gulping down all its contents in seconds. "I'm actually going to throw up. oh my god, I can't do this. I cannot do this. I literally, physically cannot do this."

"hey." tyler sits down beside him, slings an arm around his shoulders. "remember when I got married? I was panicking so bad that even  _you_ couldn't calm me down. it took you, zack, and my dad!" josh laughs, remembering. "and anyway, jenna texted me a couple minutes ago. turns out debby's panicking just as bad. it's normal, josh, so don't worry. you'll be fine. just make sure to throw up back here, not out there. nobody wants to see that."

half an hour later, josh is at the front of the altar, waiting. he's always been uncomfortable with attention, and now everyone is staring at him, and he just wants to sink into the ground and disappear forever. the only thing he hears is his heartbeat and the roar of blood in his ears. he's so focused on not passing out that he almost misses when the classic wedding song starts and heads turn to stare at the bride.

she's so  _beautiful._

of course, there's never been a day when josh hasn't thought that. he thought she was beautiful when they first met. he thought she was beautiful with her blonde hair, and her dyed hair, and her natural auburn brown hair. he thought she was beautiful even when she cried, and much more so when she laughed. she was beautiful the day he asked her out, and the day he proposed in a tree house, and every day in between.

but all that beauty is nothing compared to this.

josh can't even begin to describe her. his heart is doing all these funny things and his stomach is swooping in all directions and he's not even aware of tears dripping down his face until she's in front of him, reaching out to wipe them away with her thumb.

"dude, you're crying." she says it in a whisper, and her voice makes him cry harder. the woman he loves is right in front of him, in a wedding dress, ready to make vows to spend the rest of her life with him. she's made him cry and smile and scream and laugh, and they've fallen in love and broken up, gotten back together just to fall in love harder and get engaged.

she's crying, too, her tears making paths down her smiling cheeks. everyone is clapping and hollering but he can only see her.

josh gets his emotions under some resemblance of control and smiles at his bride gently.

"yeah, I am."


End file.
